approximately 8 hours from now, i will be singing (okay not really) my last ritualistic national anthem, save for when my brother and i bellow along to the tv every national day.

i hope my quivering hands are in response to the 18deg air-con, and not to the sudden punch that in awhile, i am expected to transform into an adult, capable of things adults are capable of. because, for god's sake sarah, it's time to grow up. stop crying for mummy to solve every problem. learn to cross your own hurdles. fall and pick yourself up. fall again and pick yourself up again. the more i fall, the faster i learn. it's time to stop looking around for encouragement everytime i toddle a step in life. life is a terrain ahead, and it's for me to walk, jump, run, swim, and yes, fall, alone.

so why are my hands still trembling?

but while i still can, allow me to whimper, i'm scared

scribbled
11:32 PM